


We're smiling but we're close to tears.

by anusha



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, BAMF Peggy Carter, Daniel is an innocent little puppy, Feels, Fluff, Homophobia, I'm a terrible person, Internalized Homophobia, Jack Daniels, Jack Thompson has issues, Jack Thompson is fucked up, Jack is Jack, Jack is a Little Shit, JackDaniels, Lies, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shameless Smut, Short Chapters, Smut, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Unresolved Sexual Tension, like seriously fucked up, skinny love, smile like it doesn't hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:50:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3906883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anusha/pseuds/anusha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when two men fall in love with each other in a time where being a fairy was the greatest sin of all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is me, trying to apologise for the lack of update in my other fic. Also, I was tempted by the idea of having these two idiots falling in love in the past.

Once Jack Thompson took on the job of Roger Dooley, it seemed like he was following too much in his footsteps. He was overly responsible for the well being of his agents, Peggy especially. He made sure that she wasn’t given the late night missions or even the ones where there was a certain ring of danger to it. He made sure to keep her safe. Like how Chief would have wanted him to.

But Peggy wasn’t happy with that decision. More often than not, she would go barging in his office, arguing that she should be treated equally like the rest. 

Thompson only did what he thought was right. He never meant to patronize her, not after the time where she saved his life. For all he knew, he was trying to repay the favor. Eventually he gave in, and made sure that she was the first one he’d call if there was a high priority mission.

But that wasn’t the only thing that showed the similarity of Jack Thompson and Roger Dooley. 

Jack rarely went back home. He spent most of his nights at the office. Well, you could say it was almost every night, except the ones where he goes to the bar to drown out the things he’s seen or went through. The only difference was that Dooley was married and Thompson wasn't. Thompson wasn't in a rush to get himself one of those missus anyways, he didn't want some poor dame worrying about him or his self destructive habits.

"You need someone to take of you Jack. A dame will do just fine. Besides, you're not getting any younger, are you?" He can still remember the exact words that his mama said to him during last thanksgiving. 

_I can take care of myself thank you very much_

But of course that wasn't true. Thompson was terrible at looking after himself.

And no one noticed it. 

Because Thompson did one hell of a job in covering up the fact. He hid his toothbrush and the half empty tube of toothpaste in the small cupboard under the desk. And he kept a few sets of suits in his old locker. The one beside Sousa’s. 

 

~

 

It wasn’t until three months later that Daniel Sousa noticed that something was wrong with his new chief. At first he thought Thompson was just having a few sleepless nights. But when he found Thompson’s unlocked locker one morning, when he came to work too early, he finally understood the seriousness of the matter.

“Can I come in, Chief?” Daniel knocked on the firm, wooden door.

“Yeah come in. What’s the matter, agent? Is this a progress on the case you’re working on?”

“Um, no. I’ve come here to talk as a friend, not as an agent.”

Jack raised his eyebrows. “This is not the profession where you make friends. If that is your aim, you are probably in the wrong line of work, agent.”

Daniel kept quiet for a while. He knew that Jack wasn’t a person who basked himself in advices or friendships. “Fine, if you don’t want my advice, it’s okay. But make sure to close your locker after you change your suit. You wouldn’t want the others to know what I already know.”

“And what is it that you know?”

“You want me to say it?”

“There’s only two of us here, so spill it out Sousa.”

“You’ve been spending your nights here. And by judging those eye bags under your eyes, I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well either.”

“And you should also know that my sleeping habits is none of your concern, Sousa. I can tell you are not stupid enough to be talking about this matter to others.”

“Look, Jack. I never meant to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to say that if you need anyone to talk to, I’m here. I’ve been to war and I know what it does to you.”

GODDAMIT, SOUSA! WAR IS NOTHING. I CAN DEAL WITH MY PAST.” Jack was already standing when he raised his tone.

Daniel was a bit shocked. He had seen Thompson going full on rage when interrogation, but never with any of his colleagues. 

“THEN WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU?”

“NOTHING I CAN’T DEAL WITH. NOW I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU SHUT UP AND LEAVE MY ROOM.”

Daniel felt very attacked. He had never seen Jack being all angry like that. Even when he was interrogating, he wasn’t angry, he was merely implying the aspect of fear. But this time, Daniel could see it was different. 

Daniel gave Jack a good stare, making sure that his eyes conveyed the message that he was hurt. And he made sure to leave the door open as he walked out of his boss’ office.

“CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR, SOUSA!”

But Daniel didn’t bother to do so. He just went back to his desk, sat down and started to finish off the paperwork that was left from yesterday’s raid.


	2. Chapter 2

Thompson made sure to close his locker every day after that incident. He also added this lock, a shiny, bronze one. He kept the key in the small box that was on top of the shelves in his room. 

Usually, when all the agents went back home, Thompson would take the suit that he wore the day before and wrap in a laundry bag. He then would take the lift down, walk a few past a few stores until he reached Freddie and Co. He’d send his used suits there and he’ll pick it up on the next day when he sends another to be dry cleaned. 

Most of the agents were married and Thompson understands how they get their clothes all nice and clean. And Peggy wouldn’t have any issues, cause well, she’s a, hell, scratch that. He wasn’t going to call her a woman and make it sound like it was their job to do the laundry. He’d get his ass kicked by Peggy if he ever said that. 

He would walk back to the SSR after paying and getting the cleaned suit. He had a spare set of keys to the building. And also he knew how to make the lift work, which is to place the blue cable into the second socket from the left. There was a small dot on top of the socket as a sign

And today wasn’t any different. He had taken off the suit and tie. He unbuttoned the first two buttons on his white shirt and rolled the sleeves up. He opened up a bottle of whiskey and poured it into a glass. Drank a sip and placed the glass down.

He was back to his antiques again. You could tell that Jack Thompson knew the entire SSR building like the back of his hand, because he was always walking around, exploring, when he couldn’t sleep. And this time, he’s found a small enclosed room by the research room. He thought it was some part of the experiment lab, but he later found out that he was wrong. The room was dark and he couldn’t find the switch to the light. He had to go grab a torchlight from his office.

The switch was almost on the ground, but it was still on the wall. He had to bend down real low to switch on the light. The light blinked a lot at first, and when it finally switched on, he could see the real purpose of the room. There was a huge cupboard with an iron chain wrapped around the handles.

He grabbed a crowbar and tried to break the chain. But he couldn’t get it open.

_And Jack Thompson wasn’t a man of patience, mind you. ___

_He got so pissed off that he stated hitting the crowbar on the glass window that was on the other side of the room’s wall._

__  
_The sound was deafening and glass was shattered everywhere._  
 __  
 _Thompson was then all quiet, trying to take in the fact that he has just broken a window because he couldn’t open a cupboard. It seemed ridiculous now. There was no reason for him to do so. But the urge to break things was still lurking in him._  
 __  
 _Perhaps the cupboard was just an excuse, an excuse for the fact the he was so frustrated with his life. He hated his life now. It was only a few months ago, that he was dreaming for the post of being SSR’s chief. He thought that he could make a difference, make the world a better place. And perhaps, by doing some good, he’d be able to forget the fact that he had killed innocent men in war. He thought it would clear him of the guilt._  
 __  
 _But no, he’s only seen worse things now._  
 __  
 _His thoughts were disturbed when he heard soft footsteps walking in his direction. He knew that no one was on night duty today, because he had asked them all to go home._  
 __  
 _He took back the crowbar and held it firmly in his hand. He waited and waited. Like a predator about to spring on his prey._  
 __  
 _And when he saw a man aiming a gun at him, he froze. He dropped the crowbar and stepped back without looking onto the floor._  
 __  
 __WHAT THE HELL ?!__  



	3. Chapter 3

Daniel Sousa wasn’t the kind of man who enjoyed visiting his office late at night, especially not when his boss had given everyone the night off. But he made one goddamn mistake of leaving his wallet in the drawer of his desk.

At first when he reached there, he thought that he was all alone. He knew Thompson was sleeping in the office on most of the days but when he saw no sign of him, he thought that the blonde had gone home. Yet, it disturbed Sousa that Thompson’s office door was left all open. He was pretty sure that despite the fact that Thompson wasn’t one who keeps all his things neatly arranged, Jack would have at least the decency to close his office door. 

Daniel moved toward the door to close it, only to find Jack’s suit laid on the couch and a glass of whiskey that wasn’t empty.

But what worried him was the fact that he could hear sounds, crashing and screeching noises, as if someone was trying to break in into their office. And Sousa safely assumed that Thompson must have gone to get the intruder.

However, when the noises didn’t stop after so long, Daniel thought he’d go and have a look. 

He hated that no matter how hard he tried to tip toe, there was always some sort of sound that was following him around, as a constant reminder that he lost a leg somewhere in the cold woods of Austria. It was either his crutch or his other leg, as an effect of too much pressure.

He had already taken out his gun and held it in his right hand. His grip was steady, as if he’s used to holding a pistol using just one hand while the other aided his steps.

“DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.” Sousa’s voice was loud, and his gun was aimed right at the face of the intruder.

_Clank_  
Sousa heard the sound of the metal dropping on the cold hard ground.

“Sousa?”

“Jack?”

“It’s chief to you, agent.”

Sousa thought to himself that Jack was still a jackass even when he had a gun right at his face, a jackass even when he was about to be shot dead by one of his own friends, no, wait, scratch that, agent.

“Mind lowering the gun, agent?”

It was only then that Sousa realised that he was in static, in total shock and his right hand was armed and was still in front of him.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Mind telling what you’re doing here?”

“Left my wallet. Came to get it back.”

“So you’re leaving now?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” 

Sousa and Thompson walked back, beside each other, Thompson slightly in front, because well, he was faster. He stopped occasionally to wait up for Daniel, because to him, it was a part of human decency. To him, Sousa was a grown man who can take care of himself. He never looked down on the crippled agent, thinking that he wasn’t as good as the rest, mostly because Daniel Sousa was one of his very best.

Daniel didn’t say anything. He was used to receiving that kind of treatment since war. Sure, he hated it, but hating something doesn’t make it go away. And Thompson’s remarks wasn’t the only thing that was bothering him at that moment. 

“What’s that?” Walking behind Thompson did give Daniel an edge though, to see a small spot of red behind every step that Jack took forward.

“What’s what?”

“That’s blood.” Sousa was referring to the trail that was starting to be visible on the floor. He then noticed the bloodied sock that was covering one of Thompson’s leg. “It’s from your leg.”

“What? My leg’s fine, Susan.” Thompson loosed the formality when he heard the worried tone that belonged to Daniel. He gave a look at his right leg and damn, Sousa was right. He was bleeding.

“Do you need any help, chief?”

“Oh, shut up. It’s nothing big. I can walk back to my office and take care of it. You just head home.”

“Like the hell I am.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sousa walked back with Thompson to his office. 

“Sit down, Jack. I’ll get the first aid.” Daniel ordered, only to walk out after that, ransacking the top cabinet in the supply room. He went back to Jack’s room ten minutes later, with the white box in his hand and a bottle of water in his hands.

“Can you get the socks off?”

Thompson tried to take them off. And once he was done with it, he didn’t dare to put his leg back on the ground. His leg was lifted in the air.

“Bend your leg a little.” And after Jack complied, Daniel poured water over the cut. Jack hissed out in pain. Daniel didn’t make much of it, and continued with the treatment. He took out the disinfectant and applied some of it to the open wound. 

“Aargh!” This time, Jack cried out louder. The burning sensation was just too much for him to handle. 

Daniel then wrapped the injured foot with the bandage that was in the first aid kit. Jack saw how swiftly Daniel’s hand moved along his feet, trying to fasten the cloth onto the injury.

“You’re good at this.”

“Is that a compliment I’m hearing from you?” Daniel smiled.

“What? You say as if it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s just rare, or more like never. You’re always taking all the credit for yourself, so yeah, it’s just not your usual behaviour to give the rest of us any praise.”

Jack kept quiet after that. He never thought about it. No one’s ever told him that either. The fact that Daniel pin pointed it out in such a breezy manner made it even worse. He’s never felt hurt by Daniel’s usual sarcasm, but this, it hit him right in his heart. He wondered if everyone thought the same about him.

Jack continued to gaze at Daniel. Daniel didn’t know that Jack was staring at him, until the moment he finished up that is. Daniel looked up and his face was right in front of Jack’s. 

Jack noticed how brown Daniel’s eyes were. They were some sort of transparent hazel that glimmered in sunshine. His lips were a slightly darker shade of pink, closer to red. Jack could see how Daniel’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and back down.

Daniel was nervous. He wasn’t used to being this close to a man, especially a man who wasn’t his partner. Yes, Daniel has had his string of lovers, mostly men. It was a dark secret, but he managed to keep it well. He’s been with women, but everything was different when he was with a man. The touches were more meaningful to him; they bore a lasting impression of love. He liked them more.

Daniel couldn’t help but notice how Jack was biting his lips subtly. He wasn’t sure what that had meant but there was just this sudden feeling in him that he had to kiss the blonde. Daniel planted a kiss onto Jack’s lips, before slowly running his fingers to the other man cheeks, the back of his neck, his hair. 

At first, Thompson was just shocked. He returned the kiss, but then when the thought of kissing another man flooded his mind, he pulled himself away and pushed Daniel further from him. 

They both looked to each other in the eye. Surely there was a spark, a feeling that both of them had never had before. The noise of heavy breathing filled the atmosphere around them. Jack looked away.

“Why did you kiss me?” Thompson’s tone was harsh.

“I-I.. don’t know.”

“GOD DAMMIT SOUSA. ARE YOU A FUCKING FAIRY?”

“What? No!” Daniel lied through his teeth. Daniel’s face flushed. He was embarrassed, worried at the same time that someone had found out about his secret.

Thompson could see right through the lie. But he didn’t want to dwell much of it. Being queer was wrong, and at that time it didn’t matter if you looked at it from a lawful or even from a religious view. 

But here he was, with the choice of turning Daniel in, for being a fairy. Daniel, who was one of his best men. Daniel who was disabled. The Daniel who cared too much for others. 

He would have called the precinct, but every bone in his body went against it. There was this huge battle between his mind and his gut, one asking him to do the morally right thing, the other asking to just let it slide.

Thompson couldn’t do it. 

“JUST GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, SOUSA. I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.”

And Daniel did as he was asked. He didn’t look back. He took his coat and wallet, but he left his gun and badge in his drawer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really really sorry that I abandoned my babies here.

Jack watched Sousa leave. He didn't say another word as his eyes were later fixated on the ground. The fact that Sousa had just - had just kissed him, was so hard to swallow. Everybody knew that Sousa had his heart set out for Peggy and did everything that he could to impress her. Well, . There was no way, someone like Sousa, someone as _strong_ as Sousa could be a fucking fairy, Jack thought to himself. 

Once Sousa was no longer in the building, Jack got up. He unbuttoned two buttons from the top of his shirt and removed the belt from his pants. He then sat on the sofa that was spread out at the corner of his office and slowly, he moved his legs and positioned himself to lie on the inanimate leather object. 

_He kissed me._

It bothered Thompson. It was already bad enough that Sousa had fucking placed his lips on the blonde’s, but the fact that Sousa didn’t flinch when Jack returned the kiss made it even worse. Thompson remembers how nice soft his lips were, how they managed to make him feel,- like that’s the first time he’s kissing someone. 

_No this is fucking wrong. I’m not supposed to think about how good it felt, I’m not supposed to think how good of a kisser Sousa must be._

_Fuck._

Thompson was exceptionally sure that he wasn’t into men, especially not into Sousa. But when Daniel kissed him like that, he felt- he felt different. He’s kissed thousands of dames before, but somehow Daniel’s kiss was the only one so far that managed to keep him up from his sleep. 

Maybe it was because Sousa was a man. Or maybe because he liked being kissed by another man, another soldier who would understand everything he’s been through. 

But the idea of falling in love with your own gender was wrong, it has always been. And surely, if Sousa’s a fairy, then Jack should have gone to the police and turned him in. But he didn’t. He couldn’t have. Not when Sousa’s one of the best agents that he’s got now, not even when he hates Sousa’s guts. _Not especially since Sousa saved his life back there in Stark’s hangar._

~ 

Daniel knew that he screwed up. He wasn’t supposed to kiss Jack. It was already bad enough that Thompson was hella straight, and now that the blonde was his boss, he could only imagine what kind of trouble that he might get Daniel into. 

And that’s why he knows that he’s not going back to the SSR anymore. 

He has already left his gun and his badge in his drawer, and surely Thompson would understand the message. Besides, he’s pretty sure that Thompson doesn’t want to see his face again. Thompson could get any girl that he wanted, he’s perfect. He was beautiful, confident, and he knew how to please a dame. Sousa knew he had none of that. It was already bad enough how he gets nervous when he’s trying to talk to some pretty dame, _Peggy especially._ But now that he’s lost a leg, they don’t even look at his way anymore. 

He never wanted to be a burden. If he ever got married, he’d make sure that he loved her right, make sure that she’s happy. But that was a big if. Which girl ever wanted a man who wouldn’t be able to please her as much as a normal guy could? Which dame would ever want people to look at her and be sorry for her, that she’s got to take care of someone who were disabled? _Everybody wanted to be perfect, have perfect things, lead perfect lives._

His remembers his cousin Angie working down the road where the SSR was located. Maybe he could ask her if they needed extra hands. 

But first, he’s going to get a day’s rest. He doesn’t want to think about stupid Thompson and his perfect smile, and his perfect looks, his beautiful body. _He just wants to forget about all of this and start all over again._


	6. Chapter 6

Thompson had already made up his mind that he wouldn’t talk to Sousa about what happened last night. Maybe he’ll ask Sousa to pretend that nothing had ever happened, that they weren’t here all by themselves yesterday, that they didn’t kiss each other, that he didn’t yell at Sousa after that. 

_0700 hrs._

_No sign of Sousa. Weird enough. He’s usually here by 6.45._

_0800 hrs_

_Everyone’s here except him. He’s not coming is he?_

_0900 hrs_

_Fine. If this is what he wants then I’ll leave him be._

But that doesn’t stop Thompson from thinking about the brunette the whole day, not when his aching leg was a constant reminder to the soft touches that the brunette has placed onto his broken skin. _The gentleness of his fingers to be exact._ He’s never been touched so softly like that before, well, not by another man at least. His mother was soft like that though, her touches were often well fitted with the soft look on her face. His mother could melt his cold heart just like that, making him into a pool of gooey mess especially when he got hurt as a kid and was too proud enough to not cry. 

_And somehow Daniel had the same effect on him._

__

__

_Three days._

Almost everyone noticed Sousa’s absence, as he the was the one that everyone would pick on to go about their day. But everyone just assumed that he had gone out for a long holiday or that he was feeling slightly under the weather. 

But Peggy didn’t think the same. She knew Daniel far too well to ever assume that he would take a day off without having the need to. She walked towards his desk, scanning through the empty spot, only to notice the drawer of the desk to be slightly ajar. She pulled the drawer. 

She saw the badge and the gun. 

_Daniel never leaves these here._

She took hold of his ID, opened it to make sure that it was really Daniel’s. Then she brought both the items to Thompson’s office, because she realised that there was a high chance that Daniel might not be coming back to the SSR. Daniel's life was his job and Peggy couldn't bear to think what kind of trouble Daniel must have been dragged into that he'd leave just like that. _without saying goodbye_

She knocked on the door and Thompson yelled from inside, calling her to enter the room. 

The office had a soft scent of whiskey, something that both Chief Dooley and Thompson enjoyed. She knew that it was only time before Thompson would end up like the older man, especially if he kept up with his current lifestyle. Nevertheless, she wasn’t there to pay Thompson a social visit, she was there about Daniel. 

“Thompson, I think we might be in a bit of a trouble.” 

“We?” He said while slowly shifting his body. He couldn’t place his leg on the floor too long, as the pressure had hurt the open wound. 

“You okay, Jack?” she asked, upon noticing how uncomfortable he was. 

“Yeah, ‘m fine. What brings you here Carter?” 

“Daniel. I think he isn’t coming back here.” She placed the two items onto the mahogany table. 

“What? Why? Did he c-call you?” Thompson pretended like he knew nothing. He tried standing up to take a closer look at the objects but the immediate action had caused him to stumble across his desk a little. 

Peggy gave him a good stare. "You sure that you're alright?" Thompson nodded. "What about Sousa?" 

“He left his his badge and his gun in the drawer. He never leaves it behind. Not until now. I’m sure Daniel has a good explanation for leaving them behind and then not showing up to work for three days. Fourth including today. We should probably check on him.” 

Thompson kept quiet, his eyes pried on his feet. He turned his head to the left where the dusty cabinet was placed. In it, were files on every agent that had worked in the SSR. Every single detail, that ranged from family members to previous jobs, were all recorded in black and white. Thompson knew that Sousa’s address was surely in his file. 

Thompson didn’t need any further details that this was Sousa’s way of telling Jack that he didn’t want any affiliations with the man, that this was Sousa being afraid that Jack might say something about him or get him into a heap of trouble. It was, after all, easier to avoid your problems than to face them. _Thompson himself would understand what Sousa did._

__

__

_The embarrassment, the sin. It was all just too unbearable._

“I tried giving a call to his place yesterday. He didn’t pick up. I want in if you’re gonna talk to him.” Peggy continued. 

“NO.” A sharp answer. Peggy was slightly surprised by the tone of Thompson’s voice. “That’s not what I meant. I‘ll check on him alone. Tonight. You go back to your job. Let me worry about Sousa.” 

"I'm sorry, what? Don't go telling me what's safe and not for a woman and all, you ..." 

"If Sousa's in any danger, I don't want to lose another one of my best, that's all." 

Peggy kept quiet for a minute and observed the blonde. “Okay.” Peggy strutted out the door. She knew Thompson was hiding something, he didn’t look surprised at all when she told him that Daniel had probably quit his job. Hell, he didn’t even blink an eye. It was as if, _he knew._

One thing was for sure, she’ll be keeping an eye on the blonde. She wasn't the type who's blindly follow orders from another guy just because he said so. At least if she stays behind she'll at least be able to sneak up on both Thompson and Sousa. 

Thompson stood there a while. He never expected Sousa to take his words so seriously. He remembers the way that he had yelled at the brunette that night, the way that he had said that he never wanted to see him anywhere anymore. 

The last time he felt this bad it was in Okinawa, when he had killed the Japanese soldiers, the ones carrying the white flag. It had ate him back then, and it still gave him nightmares now, when he’s all alone in the office at night after a terrible at work. But today, the guilt of hurting Daniel was stronger than the guilt that he has been carrying for ages. 

It didn’t make any sense for Thompson. He didn’t even care about Daniel or about what Daniel had felt. No. That was something that he was definitely sure of. He didn’t have any feelings for Sousa. Besides, he was sure that Daniel had despised him. 

Thompson’s a hundred percent positive that he’s only doing going after Sousa because despite being a cripple, he was amazing at fixing the pieces together. He was the one who got onto Carter back when no one did. There was no way the blonde was going to let SSR lose one of its assets. 

“Sousa… Sousa… Sousa…" he murmured under his breath as he searched for his folder in the file cabinet. "Daniel Sousa. Ahh there you are.” He took out Daniel’s folder from the cabinet and then prompted to sit back on his chair. 

He opened the beige cover. Inside was a picture of the brunette that he had known for the past 2 years, only slightly younger. He was beautiful, a nice smile that could probably light up the gloomiest day that anyone would ever had. Sadly enough, it’s been a long time since he saw that smile on Sousa’s face. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” 

_What am I doing? Apologising to a picture? Stupid. You don’t even have to say sorry. He wasn’t supposed to kiss you. Anyone in their right mind would have done the same. Just get this over with so that you can end all of this._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a bit of canon divergence here, at that time where Angie pretends to cry in Season 1 of Agent Carter. Originally, she had been interrogated by Sousa and Thompson, But here, in this fic, she had been interrogated by Ramsey(replacing Sousa) and Thompson. Ok, it might be a confusing, but if you read on, you'll get what I mean. It's important cause I tend to make Angie and Daniel related. Thanks for reading!!!!

Daniel put on the apron and turned on the tap. Getting a new job at the diner where his cousin Angie worked was considered being lucky. He didn’t bother asking her how she managed to get him the job, she probably convinced the manager that the new guy that she was bringing in would be as good as she was. And surely after all those years of working at the same place for almost everyday, her boss would have taken her word for it. 

But Daniel didn’t care. He didn’t mind washing all those dirty dishes. At least he had a job that could pay his rent and his meals. 

He took some soap with the green sponge and applied it on the greasy plates. His hand went in circles, round and round, until there were no stains left on the white marble plate. He then rinsed the plate with the running water. He repeated the process over and over again. 

_Sigh._

Daniel wiped the sweat that was formed on the top of his brow with the back of his elbow. It’s been two days he’s been doing this and yet, he still isn’t familiar with it. Perhaps it’s the feeling of boredom, where the same thing goes repeating itself. He’s used to the hustle and bustle, the running after and the chasing of criminals. He enjoys the way he gets to think out of the box or the way he’s able to try on complex puzzles that can bring down organisations. _It gives him a satisfaction , something to hold on and be proud of._

_But I can’t ever go back there. Thompson probably told everyone about me. Besides, he did say that he never wanted to see.._

“How’s the job, couz?” 

Daniel’s thoughts were disrupted by Angie who had popped from the counter, peeping through the small opening through the wall with a smile. 

“Okay,” Daniel answers. 

She could tell ever so easily that Daniel didn’t like his job one bit, well, she’s known him since they were kids. He’s the type who loved adventures and action, and this, _this_ is surely not his cup of tea. She didn’t know where Daniel had worked before, but at least he used to be a bit cheery. But ever since the second day of work, it was obvious that Daniel didn’t love it as much as his old job. 

If she were to actually ask his opinion on washing dishes dishes for a living, Daniel would say that he wouldn't mind it. _But he was a terrible liar anyway_ and Angie was sure that everyone could see right through him. 

“You never told me what happened to your old job though.” 

“I quitted my old..” 

“That I know, but what I want to know is what made you actually quit your old job. You loved it to bits. Something terrible would have happened, am I right?” 

Daniel looked to the sink where his hands had been soaked in. He couldn’t tell her what happened, not now at least. He would tell her, one day perhaps, when he feels like it, maybe over a cup of tea. But surely it would not be in front of some dirty dishes or when the small chime that was hung on the door sweetly blew its melody, signifying the presence of a customer. 

“Angie?” _That accent. Daniel recognized the voice and the accent immediately._

“English!” The blonde turned and walked towards Peggy. Daniel couldn’t help but trying to look through the window to soothe his curiosity. One look and he turned his face away. 

He hid behind the wall for a few seconds, that was until he heard a man’s voice. 

“I believe you’ve met my fellow colleague, Jack?” 

_“ You got me and agent Ramsey completely fooled with your little act that…”_

Daniel didn’t know what to do, but every gut in his body told him to hid somewhere, anywhere, walk out the back door perhaps, wait until they leave. _Couldn’t risk letting them see that he was here._

Daniel walked as quietly as he could, his crutch almost not making a noise when it tapped the ground. He didn’t know why Jack and Peggy came here, he didn’t want to be found or to be brought to jail. He had tried his best to hide from them, any better than this would mean that he needs to shift out of Brooklyn and head to some other place, but he wasn’t ready for that. 

“By the way, you guys want to meet my cousin? He just joined us. He’s at the back.” Angie walked, bringing both Peggy and Jack to the area, where she had left Daniel earlier, but all that was there were the soap filled sink and puddles of wet water on the floor. 

“That’s weird, he was here just a minute ago.” Angie said. 

Thompson took a look around. “Would you excuse me for a minute?” 

“Yeah sure.” Angie said. And once Thompson walked out of the door, she asked Peggy what was wrong with him. Peggy told her that he was always like that, that he wasn’t much of a social person. 

But Thompson didn’t leave because he didn’t want to talk, he walked outside to clear his doubt. When he first entered the shop to get a batch of doughnuts for the office after questioning one of the suspects with Peggy, he had a glance over the same opening through the wall, and yet somehow the face behind it seemed rather familiar. And when Angie brought them there, he was even sure that he wasn’t mistaken anymore. 

And he walks until he reaches the alley that connects to the back portion of the diner. He walked until he reached the edge of the wall, where he could make out of Sousa's shadow. 

“Sousa.” 

_No answer._

“I know you’re there. I saw your file. She was your closest contact.” 

And Daniel turns with a horrified expression on his face. He comes out from where he was hiding. 

“We need to talk.” Jack reassures. 

“ There’s nothing to talk about, you know that.” 

“You need to come back.” 

“I can’t” 

“Can’t or won’t?” 

Daniel keeps quiet again. He doesn’t understand why Jack wants him back, no he doesn’t understand 

_“I’m sorry, Daniel.”_

Daniel doesn’t believe his ears, because Jack, _Jack Thompson_ had just apologised to him. And when they hear the front door opening, and Peggy calling out to Jack, Daniel proceeds to walk away and go back to the kitchen that he was working earlier. 

Jack tugged at his hand harshly. “Please.” 

Daniel shook Thompson’s hand off. And then he walked back. For one moment Daniel wasn't really sure if that was the Jack Thompson that he's come to be acquaintances with all these while. Thompson had never held his hand like that, _it was almost like he was begging._ Thompson, on the other hand, stood there standing, slightly surprised that Daniel actually did this. As long as he’s known the man, he’s never seen the brunette being that _hostile._

_Oh God, I screwed up, didn’t I?_

But when Peggy finally sees him there, looking slightly dazed, she asks him, “What were you doing?” 

Thompson took some time to bring himself back to his conscious state of mind. With a firm and steady walk, and a cheeky tone to hide his emotions, he answers, “I took a leak. Problem?” 

And Peggy just shook her head at how direct he was. "So you gonna wash your hands or what?" 

" Nope. I ain't gonna carry those doughnuts from you. You wanted equality right?" 

Peggy just rolled her eyes. She walked away while murmuring _jackass_ under her breath. 

"Did I hear a complain, _agent_?" 

"Oh screw you." Peggy exclaimed as she leaded through the way. Jack placed both his hands into the pockets of his trousers placed a smug grin on his face as he walked slowly from behind.


	8. Chapter 8

Daniel didn’t expect any guests to come by his doorstep with a bottle of whiskey in his hands at night after 10, and certainly, not some high egoistic blonde who thought he was better that everyone else. 

_At least to his mind, that's how he's always viewed Jack._

~ 

Jack didn’t sit down immediately; he walked around after placing the bottle of whiskey on the table. The house was small, enough for 2 people to live comfortably. Everything was neatly arranged, as if it was a direct representation of the brunette himself. There wasn’t much dust on anything, some photo frames were placed facing downwards. Jack would have tried to look at them but Daniel eventually came from the kitchen soon after with two glasses in his hands. 

“If you’re here about asking me back..” Daniel was interrupted by the blonde. 

“You gotta come back, Sousa. it's been almost a week and Stegg and Jackson ain't as keen as you. _Please.”_

“I already told you, I’m not coming back to the SSR anymore. Accept the fact, Thompson.” Daniel was stern, he crossed his arms around his chest. 

“What’s your problem, Sousa? What more do you need? Why is it so hard for you to just leave that terrible job at the diner? I know you’re suffering at there.” This time Jack was staring right into his eyes, as if he were trying to burn a hole large enough that Daniel might feel empty. But instead, it was the look that Daniel returned to at the blonde that made the difference. 

Jack was right, Daniel hated the job at the diner, but there was no way, no possible way that _Jack would honestly want him back._ Daniel just turned away. During his entire time at the SSR, Jack had never once treated him right. And surely something like this, _something so wrong like kissing another man_ wasn’t going to make it any better. 

Of course, Daniel was always the laughing stock, the one that everybody looked as a burden. He were the one to blame if the bad guy got away, _Daniel and his stupid crutches._ No one looked at Daniel, he wasn’t good with dames or relationships. He was too shy, never actually successfully flirted with dames. Daniel could muster up 100 reasons why he shouldn’t go back, but he didn’t say anything. He knew none of them were good or acceptable anyway. Daniel knew that he himself wouldn't believe the lie that he's offering. 

Jack gave up, he sat down roughly on the couch, opened the bottle of whiskey. “I don’t know what I’m going to say to Peggy,” he blurted. 

_Peggy. No wonder._

Daniel realised that it truly wasn’t Jack that wanted him back. Peggy probably knew something was wrong, and would have tried to investigate. _He’s only here only because he doesn’t want her to find out about what had happened._

“Does she know?” 

“I don’t think so.” Jack said as he poured the whiskey into both glasses. He didn’t look as if he was bothered by the fact that Peggy could find out “Here you go. Bet you could use some drink.” 

Daniel couldn’t argue with that. _He could actually use something to drown his thought for a bit._

“So you want me to come back because of Peggy?” 

_That wasn’t right._

Well, Peggy was one thing, but that wasn’t the entire reason that he wanted Daniel back. 

Daniel was good; he was smarter than the rest. He knew how to work out mysteries, looks at details that normal people would miss. That’s what kept him at the SSR so long as an invaluable asset. _He was the one who found about Peggy’s affiliations with Stark._ If it wasn’t for his keen eye, things would have gone terribly wrong. He's got a different take on things that even on normal days, proves to be useful. rates of cases closed has dropped over the week, and Thompson knew that Daniel not being there was one of the reasons. 

He’s good at nature, he doesn’t judge. And Thompson now knows why. 

And he makes all those stupid sarcastic remarks at the blonde. Thompson has grown to like those nowadays, even when in the beginning, he was sure he hated how sassy Daniel was. Daniel always knew how to make him smirk even if it was about something stupid. Daniel cared about him when no one did, Daniel could keep a secret, hasn’t told a soul about Thompson’s sleeping and drinking habits. _Not to mention that Daniel saved his miserable life, and boy was he was grateful to that._

The truth was, he didn’t want Daniel back because he was afraid that some girl might find out. Knowing Peggy, Thompson would understand that she cared for Daniel to bits and him being a homosexual wouldn’t change a thing about how she felt for him. He didn’t care one bit if Peggy found out because he knew she wouldn’t use it against Daniel. 

He _needed_ Daniel because he trusted him. 

Thompson didn’t need to think of a hundred reasons why he needed him back without feeling like he was like one of those goddamned fairies like Sousa was. If he were to say the truth, it would make him sound like he were like one of them. And honestly, he could never admit how he felt towards Daniel, _even if he knows that deep down it’s true._

_He’d never admit that, not now at least._

“Yeah. Peggy.” Jack lied. If that’s the only way to get back Daniel by his side again, he wouldn’t mind letting telling a small, harmless lie. 

Daniel shook his head. He took the glass of whiskey drank another sip before agreeing to join him back. Daniel could sense that Thompson was slightly uncomfortable, well, he understood that people would actually feel weird, especially when they’re thinking that they’re sitting next to someone who’s probably checking them out all the time right? 

But what Daniel didn’t know was how wrong his assumptions about Jack Thompson were. 

_If this would let Peggy stop snooping around the both of them, he’d be happy to help. That, and the fact that he really wanted to get his mind work on something more taxing._

Jack drinks whatever remained from his glass. “The rest is yours,” Jack said referring to the half full bottle of the premium quality whiskey on the table. He wakes up and before he leaves, Daniel speaks up. 

“So we pretend like nothing ever happened?” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not even sure what you’re talking about.” Thompson said. He flashed that perfect smile of his and winked back at the brunette before walking out the door. 

_Unbelievable._

Daniel smiled a little, happy on one side, knowing that he’d be back on the one thing he loves the most, _adventure_. However, that would mean that Thompson would be a jerk again to him, just as usual. _But then again, it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy it anyway._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoottsss... update is here!!!! 
> 
> And Jack Thompson might be jerk.

_It was roughly a day or two more than a week, but it still feels different, like as if the walls knew what kind of person he was, like as if the tables and chairs had eyes and could see right through him or that the stationery were talking behind his back._

And every time he passed someone in the office, it felt like they could guess what he was, that somehow _they just knew._

“Yo, Sousa!” 

Daniel turned his head. He saw one of the agents, waving towards him, smiling. The brunette just nodded with him lips pressed together as if he was forcing a smile. “Went out on a date, honeymoon even?” one of the agents asked from a far. Sousa didn’t turn behind to see who it was, he just smiled, putting his crutches by the side of his desk and prompted to sit. He wanted to answer something sassy but then someone had beaten him to a reply. 

“Yauch, I don’t think it’s your business on knowing what Sousa’s doing with his _authorised holiday.”_

“Funny, I thought..” Yauch tried to answer. 

“Yes, you thought?” 

And this time, when Yauch actually turns his head to see who’s been answering him all this while, he keeps his head low. _“Nothing, sir.”_

“That’s what I thought too. Now get back to work.” 

_Thompson. Fucking Thompson’s covering up for him._

Daniel eyed the blonde from the side of his eyes, he could see Thompson walking towards his desk. 

“Hey, Susan.” Daniel looked up, seeing Jack standing right beside him. “Hey.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

_Liar. Fucking pretender._

“ ‘M good.” 

“You take care of yourself okay? Can’t have any of my men to be sick. If you need anything, Carter would surely be glad to help. Ain’t that right, Carter?” the rest of the agents laughed. If that was one way to make things look normal, hell, Thompson was doing a fantastic job. 

“Thompson.” Peggy gave a good glare at the blonde, as if her stare could actually burn a hole into the that thick skull of his. 

“Alright, jokes aside. Back to work. We have tons of sleeper cells to catch.” 

Thompson walked, with his head held high. His confidence was unshaken, and somehow it just assured Sousa that Thompson hasn’t changed, or even if he did, he’s doing one hell of a job to make sure he looks as cocky as his usual self. _He didn’t look like anyone who’s kissed another man, that’s for sure._

Peggy pulled her chair from her desk and placed it next to Daniel once she saw Jack going into his office. “So what actually happened?” 

“I’m sorry?” Daniel asked. 

“Come on Daniel, don’t expect me to fall for the bullshit that you and Thompson had been playing for us just now.” She said as she tried to put her legs over his empty desk. 

“Peggy, legs off the table.” 

“Oooo… someone’s touchy.” 

_“Sousa, if you want to talk to your bird, please get a room. This is an office.” said one of the agents. Laughter accompanied the office_

Peggy stood up, walked towards him ( his name was Ray if Daniel wasn’t mistaken) and slapped him at the back of his head. 

“Ouch. ” 

“Now, now, make sure you mind your manners because the next place I hit will make you regret you life choices.” 

_More laughter._

“Alright, what’s all the commotion?” This time Thompson’s room door opened. The blonde had taken off his coat, his brown suspenders were tight against the white shirt. He rolled up his sleeve as he walked out of the door. Everyone pointed at Sousa, well except Peggy; because her hands were on her hips, still mad at Ray and then there was Sousa because he was still shocked at the whole thing.But when Sousa's eyes were fixated at the blonde, he knew he could never look at Thompson the same way again, not when every bone in his body is telling him how fit Jack Thompson actually is. 

“Alright, Susan, come. You’re too free aren’t you? You can do the filing in my office. Bet it would look amazing with a woman’s touch.” 

And for an instance, Daniel was sure that he wanted the floor to just open up and gobble him. He didn’t need anyone calling him a woman, and certainly not Thompson. 

_Was that Thompson’s way of letting the rest of them know, making sure that they were aware of what Daniel was._

_That he was one of them? One of those goddamned fairies?_

Daniel’s face flustered. One couldn’t tell whether he was angry or whether he was frustrated. But the way he sighed and took his crutch heavy heartedly definitely made Peggy stare at the brunette in curiosity.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think an update was long overdue don't you think so?

Sousa trailed behind Thompson and entered the room with a scorn on his face. 

Thompson pointed his fingers towards the old dusty, steel cabinet. Inside it contains details of all SSR agent. Second and third drawer were criminal records, internal on top and external on the bottom. Sousa’s hand movements were quick, as his left crutched leg leaned against the side of the cabinet. 

Most of the things in the cabinet were already arranged, except for a few of the recent files on the sleeper cells that they’ve been using lately to catch the criminals from the underground group. After the case which resulted in the death of Chief Roger Dooley, most cases were trivial. 

Daniel noticed how his file was the only one that has been shifted from its original position. He assumed that Thompson had looked at it, looking for his address when he asked Daniel to join the SSR again. 

He also noticed a pair of eyes scanning his body from top to bottom. Of course, that was accompanied by an uncomfortable feeling, knowing that someone is watching him. 

_“ Stop it already._

“Stop what?” Thompson asked. 

“Stop staring at me like I’m out of this world, god dammit. It’s not like I have horns on my head or that I’m not human.” 

Thompson looked back into the paper which he held in his hand. He straightened out the paper as if that was the only job that he had left. 

_“I can’t help it man. You’re a fuckin’ fairy.”_

Thompson said under his breath. He didn’t meant for Daniel to hear it, as it was more of a sassy wisecrack to make himself feel slightly better. 

“What did you just say?” 

_“Nothing.”_

“No. Go on. SAY IT.” 

“Say what?” 

“Don’t pretend Thompson. I know you far better than you think.” This time, Daniel shoved the cabinet drawer back into its place with full power. It must have been loud, because Thompson could see a few heads turn into the direction of his office momentarily, by the side of his eye. 

_“You said you wouldn’t say a thing! “_

_“I didn’t say nothing!”_

“What about those things that you said outside? Calling me a woman and all?” 

“Jesus, Sousa. I was just trying to be normal with you. Come on, you never said anything when I made those jokes last time. Hell, you’ll even laugh at them back or say something sassy back at me.” 

_“It’s different now.”_

“So I’m breaking your lil’ fairy heart now? It’s not like you weren’t queer before this!” 

“Why are you bringing this up? It doesn’t make any difference to anyone, especially to the way I work! 

“You started this conversation in the first place!” 

“Don’t you blame this back on me, _Jack!”_

“It’s _sir_ to you, Agent.” 

“Fine, have it your way!” 

“Oh God what’s the matter with you! Can you act normal for once. I guess I must be an idiot for not noticing it earlier.” 

_And it was that exact moment, Daniel knew he had enough._

His eyes darted back the taller blonde, full of rage. Thompson could see the man in front of him boiling up. He’s never seen Sousa getting so, furious before. Every person has his limits and actually being able to see the angrier side of the brunette, was something to uncommon. 

_Maybe because Sousa was a softie from the time he knew him._

“You think I wanted to be like this? You think I have a choice?” 

Of course he’s heard of them queer guys in the military, sucking each other off every once in a blue moon. Hell, even Thompson himself sucked off and got sucked by other men back when he was stationed at Okinawa. No one talked openly about it, you know, _it was all a hush-hush thing,_ or based on the military’s biggest policy, _Don’t ask, don’t tell._

But that was only because it was the army and that they didn’t have much to help them out. They were all after all _just men_

Sousa moved in closer towards the table where Jack was seated. The blonde moved his seat a little further from the brunette. As if he was somehow afraid of the weaker man, the more effeminate one. 

“You think I never tried shaking it off? That I was never engaged to another woman to make myself believe that I wasn’t one of them?” 

When Daniel was right in front of the chief, he opened his wallet and took out a small picture. He threw it over the reddish mahogany desk. 

Thompson moved his eyes from the man standing so firmly in front of him to the small photo that his calloused hands picked up. 

It was a small picture of Sousa and and a girl, both smiling happily. 

“She was so happy when I proposed to her.” 

Thompson never knew that Daniel was ever with a woman. The guy never talked about settling down at all, _which makes perfect sense now_ , but the fact that he was actually engaged to someone just shocked the blonde. 

“But come to think of it now, I felt that I lied to her. I mean, I knew I liked guys way before I met her, even before I joined the army.” 

Thompson put the picture back on the table, only to be taken slowly back by Sousa. He put it back into the fold that he took it from. 

“But she broke it off, eventually. S-she said t-that,” _Daniel paused for a moment before he continued_. “That I was still in love with someone else. Well she wasn’t entirely wrong, was she? I still think about her, you know. Just what if I had acted or pretended better. Just what if I…” Daniel stopped talking as if he almost choked at the thought that ran across his mind. 

Thompson, for a moment, just knew Daniel had more secrets than he was letting out. 

“You’ll never understand how hard people like us try, you know. The things that some of us do…” 

Daniel shook his head, before slowly walking towards the door, with a fake smile on his face along a pair of glassy eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think i deserve forgiveness for being so late in coming up with an update

_Sousa was this close to getting married. This close,_ he thought. 

It wasn’t like Sousa to give up on something that easily, Thompson knows that if there was actually someone who doesn’t know the definition of giving up, it had to be Daniel Sousa. He’s relentless like that, always getting something done by hook or by crook, especially if he really means it. 

And if Daniel’s failed at something, then it must have either been due to the fact that someone had stopped him or- _he didn’t really want to do it in the first place._

Knowing Daniel didn’t give Jack much idea to work about, not when the blonde knows for sure that no one would have successfully stopped Daniel, well at least not that he knew of. But then again, option number two did seem to be more plausible than the first one. 

_Why?_

That was the next question that bothered him. The notion of keeping up with the piling number of cases wasn’t prioritised as much as the reason why Daniel never got hitched. Thompson didn’t usually enjoy listening to small talks and gossip, that was more of Daniel’s field of expertise. God knows how many cases that Daniel worked on has had help from paying attention to the grapevine. He’d be half the decent detective that Sousa was if only he had the brunette’s patience. 

Sadly, he pretended that couldn’t be bothered about Sousa, he wanted to assure himself of that nonetheless, even if he knew deep down, he was aching to find out more. 

Agent Stalinski had presented him with a whole case book, outlining the detail of their current investigation. The most advantageous course of action now was to order a complete raid, catching even single person on the suspected list. 

“Find them all,” he ordered before closing the file case and pushing it gently away from his table. “Take Sousa and Frederik with you.” Jack woke up from the cushioned surface and pushed the seat behind him with his hind. 

“ Sousa?” He’d get us all caught with him dragging his feet. Might as well ask Peggy to join us and let her heels give us all away.” 

“Yes you’re right. Well, you’re off this search and call for Peggy. At least she can do something correctly, like listening to orders.”Jackson walked towards his coat and took it off from the stand, put it on and reached out for the golden handle of the drawer to his table. He took his gun that was placed right in the squarish compartment and inserted it to the holster on this waistband, without looking back at Agent John Stalinski. 

“What an ass,” he exclaimed under his breath as he walked away from Thompson’s table. Jack got him by his collar and then pushed him up against the file cabinet. He stared at the agent. He gritted his teeth as he said “ Don’t disrespect me. Take your punkass attitude some other place,” he said as he slowly let go of the white fabric he had clutched firmly within his fingers, as if his hands were claws of an eagle, holding tightly of its prey. 

The agent stared back at him, before adjusting his cuffs. For a moment, he was truly afraid of what his boss was capable of doing to him. 

Thompson walked out his office, carrying the case file along, before shouting out Peggy and Daniel’s names. The two didn’t ask much, they just tagged along beside their chief. He handed the file to Sousa before asking him to keep it. “You’re in charge of this case now.” 

“Wasn’t this Stalinski’s...” 

“It’s yours now. Both of you. And I want some solid proof and results that we can work on. Right now I want a raid, make sure everyone on the suspect list is here. I want them all in for questioning. “ 

Peggy looked at Daniel. _Is he off his rockers_ , she thought. And by the looks of it, Daniel could understand what was on Peggy’s mind. For Daniel, there was only one thing that went on over and over in his thoughts. 

_Don’t screw me up,Thompson._


	12. Chapter 12

There are two types of people in this world; those who always wanted to face their problems and those who run away from them. Jack Thompson seems to be of the second kind. He doesn’t believe in talking things out, or perhaps he just doesn’t know how to, without making the whole issue worse. 

And when it was regarding matters of the heart, Thompson was just as terrible, or sometimes, worst. Sure, his smile could wound up most girls, and I say most because, _there’s Peggy who always one step ahead in front of others_ , but the truth was that he never, truly settled into any single relationship. 

Perhaps it was the curse of his past, or rather, how it remains as a constant reminder to the aging blonde that something bad could happen to him someday and some poor little dame who has had his children would have to carry the brunt alone. And besides, he’s never actually been with people that close, except with people from work. _Daniel especially._

He liked the chase however, watching the dames shy away from his charming smile, only to slowly succumb back to its paralysing effects. He knew that his smile was a weapon as deadly as Pandora’s Box. 

All he had to do was to be a gentlemen, pretended like he cared and gave a hearty smile as if he’s got the whole world on a string. Yet he never did that. _Not really._

_And he’s never thought of chasing men, not until recently._

__Wait, maybe that was a lie._ _

_He was in the army for fuck’s sake. There were moments when he was desperate enough to sort for other options but he’s always justified it due to the fact that it was necessary at that particular time._

_He could remember the time when he pushed a lad who was roughly his age against some cargo, only to pin him down for a passionate kiss. He then bent to his knees and knelt in front of the other man, slowly fumbling his fingers around the buttons of the lad’s trousers. The guy, who called himself James had grabbed his hair softly at first. His grip became strong upon realising how adept Thompson was at using his mouth._

_Despite never actually continuing it after coming back, he’d have dreams about it sometimes. But those were just dreams and things from the past, he’s never thought much about it._

__It was as if the war had changed him forever and no matter how hard he tried, there would still be some part of him that would love to revisit that notion of a forbidden love._ _

_But Jack was always trying to make Daniel laugh. It was subconscious, really. He liked it when Daniel says something witty in return to his wisecracks. He liked seeing how Daniel smirked, only to turn away to hide it. There were times when Jack would try to catch a glimpse of the way Daniel laughed when he talked shyly to Peggy. It was somewhat, refreshing, different even, to see Sousa so open to another person._

_Jack cared for Daniel deep down, he knew he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if something bad happened to Sousa, especially if it was under his watch. He’s always associated it with Daniel saving his life once, but sometimes when he thinks of it, he can’t actually remember the exact moment he he felt that way. Because to him, protecting Daniel wasn’t an option,_ it was his duty. 

~ 

“Alright, what is going on with you two?” 

“I’m sorry, what ?” 

“Between you and Thompson. He’s jumpy around you and you, around him.” 

Daniel turned away before continuing, “ I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sousa’s right hand instinctively scratched the back of his neck. Peggy knew Sousa in and out, like the back of her hand. She knew how uncomfortable he would get if he were to lie about something, and Daniel was already portraying all those symptoms. 

“Don’t act like you have not gotten a single clue, Sousa. I can obviously tell when you’re lying.” 

Sousa kept quiet. He had two options, one, he could ask Peggy to mind her own business or two, he could tell her truth. 

Sousa decided to go for option number 3. 

“You’re keeping quiet, so I’m assuming that you don’t want to talk about it, do you.” 

Sousa hung his head low. He gave a slight nod. 

“Anytime you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.” Peggy stopped walking, waited for Daniel to respond. 

Sousa pursed his lips. “I’ll talk to you about it when I’m ready.” 

“Okay.” Peggy respected Daniel’s decision, she knew that sometimes, there are some secrets that are meant to be kept, or some that needed time before they could be shared in confidence with a friend. 

“Peggy, if it’s not too much to ask, could you do something for me?” 

Peggy looked up at Daniel, raised and brought her head and eyebrows down in a swift motion. 

“Just let this be for the time being. It’s between me and Thompson, and I need time to sort things out with him. I need him to trust me again. And right now, I can’t seem to gain his trust, not when he’s vary about people finding out, especially with people watching his every move. I’ll talk to you when the time is right. I hope that you’ll forgive me then, and not look at me any different from the way that you do now. Could you promise that for me?” 

“Daniel, I….” She couldn’t complete her sentence. She had no idea what to say. Daniel was always a man of few words, he was direct and prompt. Yet for the first time throughout all the years she had known Daniel, she had never thought that he would have ever spoken to her like that. 

There was a breath of urgency over the way he talked about the matter, as if his entire life depended on it. His eyes were burdened with fear and looked if they had lost their light behind a brewing storm. 

_Poor Daniel,_ she thought, _What have you gotten yourself into?_

“Alright. Just don’t let him hurt you okay. He may be a jerk at times, but deep down he’s really nice and he cares for you. I know that much.“ 

Daniel just nodded. Peggy had no idea that if there was someone who needed to apologize, it would have been Daniel. 

He freaked Thompson out, and not to mention how he ran away without saying anything. And if those wasn’t bad enough, he had let his emotions get the better of him. He shouldn’t have shouted at Jack like that, not when all the blonde was doing was to patch things up between them and make sure that Daniel’s secret still remained as one. 

And God knows how many years it would take Jack to forgive him, let alone trust Daniel to have his back.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. And if you guys want, you can find me on stuckyisbae.tumblr.com. You can say hi or even send me prompts. And we can also become friends!


End file.
